polliewog:

begformurrcy:

I’m so afraid, they were just waddling around saying “Hewwo! Hewwo! I’ve seen to have wost my widdle arms! Hewwo!”

pwesident:

shittycryptids:

An inchworm that makes an accordion noise when it moves

pseudinymous:

just-shower-thoughts:

Because there are always pregnant people, the average number of skeletons in a body is higher than one

I never needed to think about this, but now I’m reblogging it and all of you can suffer as well.

ceeberoni:

rcktpwr:

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

morbidlyqueerious:

pangur-and-grim:

had to explain to new housemate that:

1. Banana Jim lives on the microwave
2. microwave vibrations cause BJ to rotate
3. if BJ is allowed to fully face the wall, this household will become Irrevocably Cursed
   

containment procedures

ilovecalc2:

*minecraft hurt sound plays as my boyfriend rams into my cervix*

wrongmovehoe:

thvndermag:

www.instagram.com/_estebandiacono

Me and the girls getting a lil groovy :)

sonypraystation:

everytime I read something in a language I cant understand my brain auto displays that “no time for that goku..” screenshot